weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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