i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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