so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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