Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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