So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
