I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
