If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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