AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
