I love watching others lives come down to our level.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
