Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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