Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
