Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
