you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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