Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
