You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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