I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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