last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize