I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize