oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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