covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
