You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
