Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
