sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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