I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize