your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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