he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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