this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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