HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
