He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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