Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
