Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
