Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
