I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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