I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
