shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
