Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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