we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Reggie can tackle my bush.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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