Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
