Sry I called you an 8
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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