Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
