Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize