Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
