Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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