he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
