I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
