And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
