She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
