I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
