I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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