Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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