I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
