she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
