I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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