porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize