So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
