Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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