he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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