No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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