i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so let's talk penis.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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