He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
