My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
