Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Duck Duck Cougar?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
