For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he thought i was a dude.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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