Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize